Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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