I didn't shave. On purpose
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize