Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
