I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
