How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
