the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
