so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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