Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
