It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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