please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize