It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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