Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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