I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize