Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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