speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
