that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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