Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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