Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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