Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize