someone get that fucking seahorse.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
