Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Randomize
