Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize