the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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