the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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