kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
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