4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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