How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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