imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You're like the curious george of whores
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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