you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
