FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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