so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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