Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
