sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I love having hate sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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