Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
