i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
