And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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