he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
We got so high we made milksteak
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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