I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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