I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
