oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
