What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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