her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize