clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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