i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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