there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize