She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
