Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
