last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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