some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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