Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
