Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
