I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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