im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Let's paint friendship bongs
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
