i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
