are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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