dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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