Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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