Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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