i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
