I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
