I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
