Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
