just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
