We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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