I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
