I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
