im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
